The Promises We Make as Coaches

The trusted relationship is critical to an effective coaching approach.  A trusted relationship is built on promises made – and then promises kept.  During a recent coach training, a very well-written piece by Paul Burke was shared.  Please look him up to see the entire document, but we thought you’d appreciate a small glimpse of the perspective he shares…

My Promise to You

1.  Partnership:  I promise to work with you, as your helper – and not as your “boss.” I promise to remember that you are the expert on you, and on your life, and that I will not attempt to assume that role on your behalf.  I promise that I will involve you, every step of the way, in the work that we do together.  I promise to remind you from time to time to let me know if you ever feel me getting too far ahead of you, or if it seems like I’m pulling, or pushing, or persuading you to do what I might want you to do.

2.  Acceptance (Absolute Worth):  I promise to accept you as a human-being who is as good as, and as worthy as, and as deserving as I am, and as admirable as every other human being who struggles to make things better. I promise to see you for who you are – and not as a victim of all the things that might have brought you to this place.  I promise that I will see you for who you are – and not who someone else might want you to be.

3.  Acceptance (Affirmations):  I promise to give attention to the good, and the courageous, and the “amazing” in you.  Whenever I see them, I will highlight the skills and traits and strengths that you possess and that are available to you as you work at improving your life through our talks.  I promise that I will affirm all the positive characteristics that I see in you, and I’ll encourage you to do the same, especially when you overlook some of them yourself.

Good reminders of our promises, aren’t they?  Here is a list of the remaining 4, which you can see by now would be worth looking up.  Thanks, Mr. Burke, for the reminders about the promises we make.  Hopefully in reading them, we’ll be reminded of the promises we plan to keep…

4.  Acceptance (Accurate Empathy)

5.  Acceptance (Autonomy Support)

6.  Compassion

7.  Evocation


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