Listen into a REAL coaching session with Nationally Board Certified Coach

Brad Cooper

Welcome to the latest episode of the Catalyst Health and Wellness Coaching Podcast. My name is Brad Cooper, and I’ll be your host. And today’s episode is going to be a live coaching session. We have the permission of the person being coached as well as the coach. This is the third time that we will have done this. And we keep hearing from you that you love these things. And I don’t know if you just like hearing how other people are working through things that they’re struggling with in terms of health and wellness, or if it’s the coaches that are wanting to hear how another coach approaches things, or maybe you’ve never heard an actual coaching session, and you’re just intrigued by how this whole process works and, and what happens in a period of, of literally 20 minutes. But for whatever reason you love these. And so we’re going to keep bringing them back. And today we have Tammy coaching Susan, it’s really an interesting session. I think you’re going to enjoy it. If you have any questions, you can always reach out to us at Results@CatalystCoachingInstitute.com. If you’re thinking about coming to the fast track weekend, either in New Jersey, August 16th and 17th or Colorado on the following weekend, August 24th and 25th, get those registrations in quickly, we actually maxed out the last one. If you’re looking at doing that, don’t wait on that. You can go to CatalystCoachingInstitute.com, all the details are there, and we’re certainly happy to chat anytime you’d like. With that, let’s move on with the latest episode of the Catalyst Health, and Wellness Coaching Podcast.

Tami

Hi, Susan, just wanted to see, um, kind of thank you first of all, for just coming in and just wanted to see what you would like to focus on for today.

Susan

Thank you, Tammy. Um, you know, really right now I am overwhelmed. Um, there’s a lot going on and I feel like my head is spinning a lot of the time and I can’t really, um, hunker down on one thing or for a long period of time.

Tami

So you’re feeling burdened and just kind of like you’re in a whirlwind

Susan

Yes, absolutely. There’s just a lot going on. I mean, being, you know, I’m 47. I have, um, three girls that are two are teenagers, one’s 11, but then I’m sandwiched between that. And then my precious mom and dad and my in-laws who are, you know, their health is failing them and they are on the other side of the country. Um, and it’s just a lot. Um, and, and then also working and taking care of everyone and, you know, it’s, it’s hard.

Tami

Yes. So are you feeling pressure to be near your family?

Susan

That is a very, um, yes, yes I am. I am. And I can’t, that’s the frustrating piece is that, you know, we moved out here 14 years ago to Colorado, and now that you know, my family, my parents, my husband’s parents, and then my aunt and uncle, you know, they’re getting older and the caregiving I have to do from out here. Right. Which I do, but sometimes it would be nice just to be there more often and be able to put my hands on them and, you know, be able to help more.

Tami

Yes. So with all of that, so with your family, that’s that, that health is failing and your family now, your kids, your husband, where do you kind of find space for your own self?

Susan

Um, well, I, I play tennis which is good. Um, I tried journaling for a little while. Um, so I haven’t really found recently the space. I mean, I have space for sure, but it’s, it’s, um, what it is that I want to put in that space. Yeah. That is, um, most, um, beneficial that helps me to grow and, and, um, and not even grow just to be peaceful. Um, you know, I am very spiritual. Um, and maybe I’m not devoting enough time to that. I just, I don’t know, um, where it is. Cause I feel like I’m always moving.

Tami

Yes. When you kind of reflect back on maybe a season where, uh, this is a time where I felt energized, this is a time where I felt fed and where I felt like not necessarily that I had time for everything, but I felt like I had, um, you know, some claim on time. Do you, do you recall anything that, um, sticks out to you that you were doing in that season?

Susan

Um, Hmm. I can’t think of a space like that with like that. Um, you know, I’m thinking, I mean, before children, yeah. I was a teacher, um, and that was very fulfilling. Um, then, you know, having to, when my children were young, I think it was very fulfilling because you could physically, um, fix things and, you know, do things to take care of them. It looked very different than it does now. Um, and maybe that, you know, piece, um, was that time period was, was nice. Um, yeah, but but lately it’s been kind of chaotic.

Tami

Yeah. Well, and your kids are in a new season, so you, like you said, um, at that time you were kind of the fixer and you were somebody that was a caretaker and they needed you and they depended on you. Right. And so you have these teenagers that are growing into some independency where they don’t need as much of that. And so you truly have to kind of let go and step back in. Do you feel like that’s difficult for you to let that go? Is that, is that what you’re mourning a little bit?

Susan

Actually, yes. That’s exactly what’s happening now that you say that I think is I have, I do have more time and more space and I don’t know what to do with myself. I mean, I’m there to help guide them. Um, but part of being a teenager is to figure it out on their, their own and then let them make the mistakes now. Um, so yeah, now that you say that maybe that’s what’s going on is I’m just like, what do I do? Yeah. And it’s not that I don’t have things to do. I mean, I work and things like that, but it’s, it’s almost like I need more purpose.

Tami

Yeah. Hmm. That’s good.

Susan

Um, because I have a lot to give and I love giving, I just need, I just feel like I need more to give, which is, is such a paradox because I was talking about with caregiving, but now I’m here. I can’t physically caregive for my parents. So, um, yeah.

Tami

Um, so yeah, that’s an interesting place to be of kind of going, okay. What do I do with this new season? It sounds like that’s where you are of, okay. My purpose as a mom even is changing my purpose as a daughter and relative of these family members is, is a little different. Um, and so how do I, you know, weave that, and, and sometimes, you know, I think that we as moms, especially, we kind of like, it’s hard for us to know, well, what, what is my role kind of, um, move into if I’m not care-taking them, what am I doing? Um, and so maybe that’s some of that. Do you feel like that, um, that purpose, do you, um, does anything come to mind as far as just direction and even maybe learning what that direction is? If that makes sense?

Susan

Um, yeah. I mean, yes. Um, something that has been on the top of my mind and I’ve been talking about for a while is, is going back to get my counseling degree. Um, but I go back and forth. Like, I, you know, one hand I’m like, if I do that, will, I not have enough time to take care of my family? Um, that kind of goes in the back of my mind. But to your point, you said just a few minutes ago, they don’t really need me as much as they used to. Um, and they’re, they’re pretty self-sufficient, I mean, my 11 year old needs me more. Um, but my husband works from home and, and that’s been a change too. Back in may, he started working from home and so, that looks very different from when he used to travel. And, you know, he would be gone from eight to six every day. Um, that’s been a change too. And so it has freed up even more time for me because he’s helping, um, with the children and he’s available. Um, so yeah, so a lot of things have changed. Um, and maybe that’s, you know, that’s kind of interesting that, that I just realized that that a lot of things have changed. And when a few, you know, maybe a year ago I looked at the counseling and I was like, absolutely not. I can’t. Cause there was too much going on now. Seems like it’s something that I could do and I’m getting closer to, um, yeah.

Tami

Yeah. That’s awesome. Well, I feel like that’s something you’re excited about and really these changes are exciting. I mean, this is good transition. And especially when you feel good about your daughters, those, your older daughters that are, you feel good about them being, doing things on their own. It’s not that you need to hover over them. Um, you feel good about that. Your husband’s at home now, so that that’s also comforting, you know, that’s also, um, such a good thing. And so it sounds like there’s things that are kind of in place for you. Do you feel that way?

Susan

You know, with my spirituality, um, I keep asking, you know, you know, God, please tell me when, where, you know, I’m, I’m waiting and you’re right. Like I just need to step back and say, he’s telling me, I just need to trust him. And it may not be perfect and it may not go exactly as I think it should, but it, it might be time to trust that he has lined things up so that I can do this and I can give back. Um, I think that’s, that’s a big piece.

Tami

If you were to do the counseling degree, if that’s something you thought I’m going to do that, um, what do you see is, I mean, what joy or what good things do you see coming from a situation or a decision like that?

Susan

Hmm. Uh, focused learning, um, and then, um, being able to give back, um, just our family has had a lot of challenges as all families do. Um, and we’ve worked with a lot of counselors ourselves and I just think it’s necessary right now feel a calling, um, to be there for other people in that way. Um, so yeah, I think so you asked what good will come from that, that, you know, that, you know, getting closer to having that purpose of being able to give back in that way.

Tami

Yeah. So it’s not only using your skills. It’s also, this is for the good of other people. This is what’s happened in my own life. I want to return that.

Susan

Yes. And I’ve experienced a lot of things that I feel like I have some perspective on that I could share.

Tami

That’s amazing.

Susan

And walk with them. Like we do, you know, with the coaching, it’s the same type of thing, but with a little bit more, um, you know, they would be challenged in different ways.

Tami

Yes. That’s good. Any obstacles that you see if you were to decide, yes, I’m doing this, what would be the challenges for that?

Susan

Time and finances. Yes. And those are the things I’m looking into right now, actually. I’m trying to be inspired by many others who make things work. And I know it can work. I just have to, you know, trust.

Tami

And we can always make those excuses. Right. It’s like those pop-up before sometimes way before the positive things do and they can kind of crowd out some of those positive thoughts as well. Um, so yeah. So I guess I, when you kind of think about what, what we’re talking about today, I mean, what do you feel like, okay, I need to make a decision about the counseling or do you feel like no, I really kinda need to, it needs to be something else that, that I need to fill myself with?

Susan

Um, I think that’s a really good question. Um, I think I should move forward with applying. Um, however, I still think short term, like that’s more of a long-term goal. Um, short-term I still need to figure out how to create more peace and maybe it is just to, um, I, I don’t know. I don’t know how to create more peace, honestly, I’m trying. But I think short-term, I do, there’s gotta be something I need to work on something else. Um, I love reading, I read a ton. Um, yes.

Tami

Yeah. So you’re, it sounds like you’re kind of feeling that you need, you almost need to establish some, some peace and contentment before moving on to this, this degree.

Susan

Yes.

Tami

Okay. And so, what is the first step with that? Is it finding something that you truly, that will feed you? Or is it, I mean, it sounds like you’re not really sure how to create that piece. Um, what can I offer to help you?

Susan

Um, I don’t know. I mean it’s, yeah. It’s interesting. It’s um, I wish I knew. Hmm. Um, that’s that’s the troubling part.

Tami

Yeah. Can I offer just a suggestion?

Susan

Any suggestions you want to give me, I’m happy to hear.

Tami

Well, let me ask you this before I offer that. Do you already kind of have a quiet time like that’s set in the day?

Susan

No. And to your point, maybe I need more structure. Yes. Maybe, maybe that’s a piece of what’s going on.

Tami

Okay. Yeah. What I was going to offer was just even just morning structure, like say, you know, whenever you get up, you know, 7:00 AM, whatever that is, 7:00 AM to 11:00 AM is going to be structured. And let’s not worry about the rest of the day. I know that you have a job and probably the rest of the day, is that any way, but whatever timeframe you want to make that. And so you decide, I’m going to write in seven to 8:00 AM, create peace, and that’s all I’m going to write on that. And then you kind of reflect each morning during that time. What do I need during this time? What is going to bring me peace? Um, and so, and then the rest of the time is structured with whatever you want, you know, tea and reading or, or whatever it is, but just, just a timeframe for creating peace. Um, and since you don’t know what that is, and I don’t know what that is. I think that when you, um, enter that time each morning, it’s going to start to come to you. What are your thoughts about that?

Susan

I love that it reminds me of the Bible verse that I have even I’ve had people give me a necklace. My daughter has it. It’s be still and know that I am God. Yes. And it’s, it’s a, that’s a challenge for me. Yeah. Um, maybe that’s yes, most of us. So maybe that’s what I do is put, you know, make sure that that Bible verse is ingrained, but then I love that create peace and, you know, it could be in the morning, but I also could do it at night. And it’s my time and I let my family know I’m creating peace now, whatever that means. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. I love that.

Tami

Okay. So do you picture yourself in the evening more so than in the morning?

Susan

No. No. No, I see, um, both times opportunities to do so. Um, yeah.

Tami

Okay. So, and tell me, so if you do, if you decide that that, that is what you would like to do, what is your accountability like? Is it your phone? Is it, what do you use? What tools do you use for those kinds of things?

Susan

My calendar. I mean, it would be where I need to the night before, look at my calendar and say, okay, this is a good time. Or it could be, I try mornings for a little while. Um, middle of the day is also a good time for me. Um, like after lunch is a good time. Um, and then, yeah, maybe it would be morning or middle of the day, depending on my work schedule. That is, that is good. Just to have that time to create peace.

Tami

Yeah. I like it. Okay. So if we were to kind of say here, here’s the goals, here’s the focus, it sounds like it is nightly, look at the calendar and write in, or is it weekly write that in all through the week? What were, what would it be?

Susan

Weekly, weekly. Cause that’s, that’s pretty much how I do my calendar. Um, yeah, it would be weekly for sure.

Tami

Okay. Um, okay. So weekly, write in, create peace in a timeframe slot that you want. Um, and then, I mean, this, the other focus, I guess, would truly be just to let yourself be during those times. Um, and just to kind of let, let yourself kind of realize what, what it is that it’s going to create peace. Maybe it is just being quiet. I think that’s all you need, but maybe something will come to you as well, perhaps.

Susan

Yes. Yes. That’s wonderful. Just space. I think you used that earlier today. Yeah. I just need space.

Tami

Yeah. Okay. I love it.

Susan

Me too. Just to process.

Tami

Yes. To process reflects. Okay. Love it. Anything else that you would say would be a good focus with this?

Susan

No focus? No. I mean, I think you, you, you know, the space piece, I think, I think that’s what I’m coming to realize is that my brain is always going, yes. I mean, even at 3:00 AM in the morning, right. It’s always moving and going and thinking and processing and, um, I think I just need some downtime.

Tami

Okay. That sounds wonderful. All right. Well, we’ll check in on these things and I’ll see how it’s going in a few weeks. Okay. Sound good?

Susan

Yes. Thank you so much, Tammy.

Tami

Yes. Thank you, Susan.

Brad Cooper

Alright everyone, it’s Brad, I just popped my head in here. We’re now going to go back to these two and they’re going to share their thoughts about how did it go? So some reflection, the part of the coach and some reflection on the part of the client back to Tammy and Susan.

Tami

I felt like that went really well at the beginning though, I was a little like where this is, this was wide open. So I’m like, Oh boy, this could be hard to focus in on one thing.

Susan

Right, right. And it was, I mean, coming here today, I just, I actually thought it would be a little bit more about stress, which it kind of was, but it was really neat how it unfolded and, and the questions that you asked, but then your reflections, those were what helped me to kind of figure out exactly where I am.

Tami

Yeah. Yeah. I was, it’s funny. Cause I, I felt like I, you know, we can always relate to things, you know, and sometimes I get real excited about putting my own input in and I was like, Oh, I hope I’m not doing too much of that, of my own. Like, you know, I think, and I believe that. So anyway, I was hoping that reflections were coming through and not just, here’s what I think.

Susan

Yeah. I mean, you did such a beautiful job, um, you know, with your reflections, they were dead on. Um, and they, weren’t simple because being a coach, you know, is not, they weren’t simple. They were, you, you dug a little bit deeper and you were right on, um, which is what led me to be able to figure out, okay, I just need this space. Um, because you know, it’s always going from one thing to the next and worrying about a bajillion, different people. And sometimes, you know, you can’t see what is it, the forest for the trees or whatever that saying is because there’s just too much going on. Yeah.

Tami

Yes, yes. There’s that other perspective that kind of clears the way, right? It’s like kind of clears those trees out of the way so that you can see a little bit better. So I’m glad that that helped with that. And I think we did, we do, we have, and I think with coaching, it is, it’s so apparent that we have so much going on and it’s like, if we can just zoom in to what we actually need, it’s like, that’s where wellness is kind of comes from. Right. It’s like, well, we’re taking care of everybody else, but it’s like, what do I need for my own wellness? And sometimes we feel selfish about that, but it’s, it’s so great to like, to kind of bring clients to a place of this is you, this is vital for you so that you can do all these other things beautifully and well

Susan

Absolutely. Huh. Because, because what happens is what’s happened to me is, you know, just through that is thinking, you know, my sleep has been affected and that’s a physical piece. Um, you know, I have to be careful about, um, exercise because that can also, um, not allow because it’s so focused and, um, it’s moving. Yeah. And, um, you know, and that doesn’t allow space for me. Everyone is different. Um, so I think that was, that was another something that I was able to sift through, um, is that I need quiet, um, whatever that is. And it mean, and, and know if I can shut my brain down long enough just to, like you said, I like the word reflect myself on. Okay. What do I need? Yes. Right. And we talked to our clients about that all the time. Yeah, exactly. But it’s hard to do.

Tami

Right. And a lot of, I know that, you know, in this, it was like, okay, I was kind of racking my brain at, at one point going, okay, what does she need more tennis? Does she need, I was kind of going through like what you had mentioned that you love, you know, you love to read. And, and so then I was like, you know what, I don’t, I don’t really have the answer. So I felt like you, I knew that you didn’t have the answer because you, you said that yourself. And so I felt like you needed to make that clear to yourself in, in your own practice of, of sitting and listening or whatever, you know, having that space. And so I kind of, I appreciated that. I couldn’t give you the answer on, honestly, I couldn’t offer you much to say, well, here’s what I think you need to be doing. Not that we do that as coaches necessarily, but I wanted to so much, you know, it’s like I wanted some, since you didn’t know, I was like, well, I want to know what the answer is. But I really didn’t.

Susan

Wow, Tammy, that’s huge because you know where I am now, you really listened to where I am now. Do you know what I mean? If we had gone through a list of things to do, it would have been something that I would have taken home and not done. Yes. Because that’s not what I need. Um, interesting. Yes. And you really heard that and you allowed me that space. Yes. To figure out where I need space. That’s huge.

Tami

Cause do you ever feel like we’re, we’re in, sometimes we want to be fixers, you know, we want to be, we want to have the answer because well, we live out wellness really well. So, so surely we have all the answers, but we don’t, you know, and everybody’s so different and unique. And so it’s like, what would work for me? Isn’t going to work for you. And so I can’t push that on you. Um, so yes.

Susan

And you did such a beautiful job with that.

Tami

Well, thank you. And thanks for sharing.

Susan

Yeah. Well, it was, it was really good. And now I’m looking forward to creating space. Yeah.

Tami

Yes. I’m looking forward to hearing about it seriously.

Brad Cooper

Thanks again so much to Tammy and Susan for not just taking the time to do this, but really opening themselves up. So I hope you enjoyed that. Couple of comments I thought might be helpful. A, one of my favorite parts of this is these are two nationally board certified health and wellness coaches, and they are working through their own journey. I think that’s such an important reminder to all of us. None of us have it figured out folks, we’re all on this journey. And I think you heard that in a very intimate way in that discussion. And then another interesting piece that came out is that conversation had a lot of, of spiritual components to it. But every single one of them were driven by the client, not the coach. And that’s a critical thing for us to remember, Tammy did a really good job throughout of not making assumptions. And you saw that kind of come back full circle. And then one other just super intriguing piece that I hope we all remember as coaches is recognizing that solid coaching can happen without needing to know every detail of the person’s story. You know, Tammy could have dug in and dug in and dug in and, and potentially made Susan very uncomfortable. She got enough. And then she, she knew Susan knew the details and they were able to move forward from there. So anyway, hope, hopefully that was helpful. And, and again, just another huge, thank you to Tammy and Susan for taking the time to do that for us today.

Brad Cooper

Couple of things that I don’t think I’ve mentioned on the podcast in forever, there is a booklist. So if you’re looking for resources as a coach of things that you might want to dig into, just go to CatalystCoachingInstitute.com and look under the resources, we’ve got a full list of those you can click through and find there’s also the coaching CMBA. We have a lot of coaches you’re already certified and you’re trying to figure out how do I grow my business? We’ve got a resource for that. So you can find that as well. And then for those of you who are on Twitter, you can find me at Catalyst, the number two thrive, so Catalyst2Thrive. And essentially, I just use that as an outlet for research articles and updates and findings in some of the areas of health and wellness, mental toughness, human performance, those kinds of things. If you need anything at all from us, you can find us at Results@CatalystCoachingInstitute.com. The next fast track weekend is just around the corner. We’re going to New Jersey and Colorado in August. So take a peak at those if, if either one of those are an interest to you. Let’s keep pursuing better and help those around us do the same. I’ll talk to you soon on the next episode of the Catalyst Health and Wellness Coaching Podcast.